How to help your newborn baby sleep better (without expecting the impossible)

Mar 26

Written by Ella Hanover, Pediatric Sleep Specialist at Ella Grace Sleep Solutions

Newborn sleep can feel extremely unpredictable. Short stretches, loud noises, cluster feeds, long nights, the list goes on…

Newborns aren’t born with organized sleep cycles or a developed circadian rhythm, so it’s no wonder that first-time or even seasoned parents might constantly be asking “is this normal?”

In the early weeks:

Newborn babies sleep a lot and feed a lot. Sleep happens in short bursts (2-4 hours between) as they need to feed frequently due to their small stomachs.
Total sleep averages 14–17 hours in 24 hours
Day and night confusion is common
Night 2–4 postpartum can feel especially intense, especially if your baby is cluster feeding or doesn’t want to be put down because newborns crave proximity

Your baby is brand new and adjusting to life outside the womb, but at the same time, your sleep needs to be met as well.

There are ways to get your newborn sleeping better, but we have to be realistic about what “better” looks like. We shouldn't (and biologically can’t) aim for sleeping through the night during this stage.

But we CAN work towards supporting your baby’s BEST sleep, so everyone under your roof can rest a little better. Let’s get into it!

Better feeds = better sleep

In the newborn stage, quality feeds drive quality sleep. Generally speaking, a hungry baby doesn’t sleep well, and a sleepy baby doesn’t feed well.

Signs of a good feeding include:

Frequent wet diapers (6-8+ per day)
Regular bowel movements
Gradual weight gain according to your pediatrician’s guidance
Contentness after a feed

Hungry babies don’t sleep well which is why you will want to “work” to keep your baby awake long enough to eat fully. Newborns are notoriously sleepy in the first few weeks and may tire quickly at the breast or bottle.

At this stage, we don’t want to eliminate night feeds because newborns still need them, but we can encourage better feeds during the day so nights feel smoother.

During the day, aim for:

Feeding every 2–3 hours (unless baby cues sooner, wake by the third hour for a feed. You want the longest stretches between feeds at night, not during the day)
Offer feeds at early hunger cues (stirring, rooting, hand-to-mouth) before crying escalates so they can latch better
Keeping baby awake during feeds so they feed well and get good sleep after
When your newborn is awake, assume that they are hungry

If your baby gets sleepy mid-feed, try:

Undressing to the diaper
A cool wipe on the forehead or back
Thickly their toes
Burp, change diaper or put baby on their back
Gentle talking or stimulation
Burping and re-latching
Putting them down on their back to wake them up a bit

Babies are incredible calorie counters so by maximizing feeds during daytime hours, we can begin to work towards longer stretches at night. – within what’s developmentally appropriate, of course.

A quick note on the first few days & cluster feeding…

Many babies are quite sleepy in the first 24 hours. It’s common to get one longer stretch after that initial latch. Then comes night two and three with cluster feeding, frequent waking, and your baby not wanting to be put down.

It’s important to remember that this is usually not a sign of supply problems. Your milk is transitioning from colostrum to mature milk and frequent latching is what stimulates production. Your baby is doing a great job of telling your body what it needs to do.

During evening cluster feeding, make sure you stay hydrated, camp out or cuddle up on the couch with your favorite movie, and eat a nourishing meal so you’re ready for a good slumber once the cluster feeding ends.

Cluster feeding throws sleep for an even bigger loop, but it typically only lasts around 2-3 days.

If breastfeeding, I recommend proactively connecting with an IBCLC during baby’s first week– typically most helpful when milk comes in around day 4-5. A strong latch and good milk transfer can make a huge difference in how settled your baby feels after feeds, which directly affects sleep.

A quick note on dream feeds…

Once your baby is around 6–8 weeks old and feeding is well established, introducing a dream feed can help your baby sleep longer stretches at night.

A dream feed is a parent-initiated feeding offered before the parent goes to sleep, typically between 10:00–11:00 PM, while the baby is still asleep.

A dream feed is best when you:

Keep lights dim
Avoid full waking
Gently pick baby up and offer a feed
No stimulation, no diaper change unless necessary
Back down to sleep

An effective dream feed routine might look like:

8:00 PM Bedtime
11:00 PM Dream feed
3:00–4:00 AM Overnight feed
7:00 AM Morning wake

Not every baby will respond to dream feeds dramatically and that's okay! Some babies won’t wake up enough to get a good feed in so they might still wake up at 1 or 2 AM for a feed. If your baby is still waking 1-2 hours after the dream feed, it might not be working to your benefit, but if your baby is lasting 3-5 hours after the dream feed, they’re responding well!

The goal is that the dreamfeed aligns your baby's next stretch of sleep with your stretch of sleep, ensuring parents get a 4-ish hour stretch.

Help your baby learn day from night

Because their circadian rhythm isn’t fully functioning yet, babies don’t know the difference between 2 PM and 2 AM. The good news is that there are things you can do to guide and further develop that circadian rhythm.

During the day:

Spend time in natural light, especially morning light
Talk, sing, interact
Allow normal household noise
Do some daytime sleeps without the swaddle
Wake to feed every ~3 hours even if the baby is still sleeping (this is KEY to better sleep, as it keeps your baby’s longest stretches between feeds at night, not during the day)
Wake after any 2 hour nap

At night:

Keep lights dim (a red bulb or soft lamp is ideal)
Use a sound machine with brown noise
Avoid stimulating interaction
Change diaper, feed, good burping, change again if necessary, and then back down
Keep your movements slow and minimal
Most newborns do best feeding (breast or bottle) unswaddled.

Your newborn will continue to wake up during the night, but helping them distinguish between day and night will set them up for the best nighttime sleep possible.

Create a simple evening routine (it’s not too early)

Babies thrive on routines, even in the newborn stage! These routines can especially help your baby distinguish daytime sleep from nighttime sleep. A good routine can also help parents identify and acknowledge the end of their day, so they can transition into sleep mode with a little more ease.

A simple newborn bedtime routine might include:

Warm bath or sponge bath
Lotion and pajamas
Feeding
Swaddle
Song or short cuddle
Lights out

For most newborns, a biologically appropriate bedtime falls around 8 PM–10 PM. Earlier bedtimes become beneficial closer to 8–12 weeks when the circadian rhythm is more established and baby is sleeping longer stretches.

REMEMBER: Don’t make this routine unrealistic for yourself. The last thing you need right now is a picture-perfect bedtime routine standard. All you need to do is pick a few simple, calming rituals for your baby and stick to them.

An evening routine is also a great time to ground yourself as the parent. Going from a 10-step skincare routine to tending to a newborn at 10 PM can be quite the whiplash, so it’s important to treat yourself with some care too!

Practice the 5 S’s to soothe your baby to sleep

Adjusting from a warm, contained, and constantly moving womb to a cold, spacious world is quite the task for a newborn.

When they seem extra fussy or seem to be fighting sleep, they’re often dysregulated and need a little extra support calming down.

The 5 S’s work because they mimic the womb environment:

Swaddle – Secure and snug with arms contained
Side-lying – For soothing only, always place back on back to sleep
Shushing – A parent or white noise at a consistent volume
Swaying – Gentle, rhythmic movements like rocking or bouncing
Sucking – Breast, bottle, or pacifier if using one

A quick tip for after you’ve soothed…

Once you’ve soothed your baby to sleep, putting them in the crib or bassinet can seem like the trickiest part. When transferring to a bassinet:

Keep one hand on their head and one hand on their bottom (this prevents your arm being stuck under their body once you put them down)
Lower their bottom first, then head
Keep your hand on baby’s chest for 15–20 seconds after placing down
Use consistent white noise to help them stay asleep

These tools are especially helpful during witching hours or cluster feeding stretches.

And speaking of witching hours…

Witching hour is a time in the evening, generally between 5–11pm or so, where your baby is much fussier than normal. These hours typically begin around 2–3 weeks of age, peak around 6–8 weeks, and improve by 4 months.

Simply put, witching hour occurs because your baby is tired and/or overstimulated. As mentioned before, after 9 months in a calm, dark and warm womb, the world doesn’t feel like the coziest place to be. On top of that, breastmilk supply usually dips in the evening, which leads to less contentment after feeds.

To better support your baby during witching hours, I recommend:

Support afternoon naps to keep baby well-rested
Try a warm bath or shower together and keep the lights dim in your house
Focus on staying calm and grounding yourself– stay hydrated, have a snack, take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re exactly what your baby needs
Get outside– fresh air and motion can make a huge difference
If breastfeeding, try cluster feeding– prolactin (the hormone that promotes milk production) is at its lowest in the early evening and your baby might be REALLY hungry
Wear your baby for some extra soothing support

What about naps?

Newborns are easily overstimulated, and overtired babies have a harder time falling and staying asleep. That’s why in the newborn stage, I suggest focusing on wake windows instead of a clock-based schedule, but remember that these are guidelines and not rules. Wake windows give you good age-appropriate guidelines, while a clock-based schedule is better for when sleep gets a little more predictable.

Age-appropriate wake windows:

1 Month — 35 to 60 minutes
2 Months — 60 to 90 minutes
3 Months — 75 to 90 minutes

Watch for sleepy cues: staring into space, less engaged, red eyebrows, rubbing eyes, yawning, fussiness. If you catch these early cues, your baby is more likely to fall asleep calmly and sleep peacefully. If your baby is crying, rigid, arching his back or making fists, it’s typically harder to help them transition into sleep.

And for you, dear parent– this framework is meant to help you navigate your days while caring for your newborn, NOT to keep you on a tight newborn sleep schedule. Seriously!

Every baby is unique and their sleep needs will vary. If your baby is awake longer than expected but is content, there’s nothing to worry about!

Instead of a rigid schedule, you can use this framework to plan routines that enrich the whole family. Start routines like a morning walk, afternoon play time, or a regular bath time with the same songs each night. All of this predictability will help further develop those routine sleep cues that we talked about earlier.

A quick note on contact naps…

It’s no surprise that newborns prefer contact sleep. It’s biological! Your baby craves proximity to you. And sometimes it’s easier to lean into those contact naps instead of anxiously battling to get your baby in the crib when you’re already running on fumes. Daytime sleep is trickier than nighttime sleep, so if your newborn only sleeps on your during the day but is sleeping well in the bassinet at night, that’s great! Your baby is baby-ing!

One of my favorite ways to do this is baby wearing. Your breathing regulates theirs, they get some skin-to-skin time, and you get to move around or get out of the house for a change of scenery. It’s a win-win! With good sleep during the day, you can expect them to sleep well at night, and all of the skin-to-skin soothing time will help them settle in their bassinet at night.

Oh, and one more thing! There’s no need to worry about “spoiling” your newborn because you’re holding them or rocking them to sleep, whether it’s at nap time or bedtime. You both have a lot of sleep needs at this stage, and sometimes contact is the best option to get those needs met.

Shift work could be a lifesaver!

On top of the regular night wakings, you’ve probably noticed by now that newborns can be incredibly noisy when they sleep. Many parents wake up at every little sound, even when the baby is still asleep or simply resettling.

Newborns spend about 50% of their sleep time in active sleep, which means that they’re more likely to move around and make some pretty strange noises while they’re sleeping.

You might notice:

Eyes opening
Whimpering
Brief cries
Grunting
Sneezing
Squeaks
Tooting

Taking a moment to pause before you respond and pick up your baby can help them settle into a new sleep cycle on their own.

But even with pausing, a noisy baby can make sleep even more difficult for parents, so if it works for your family, you might consider trying parental shifts. These shifts might look like:

Parent A takes 7 PM–2 AM
Parent B takes 2 AM–morning

Tailor these shifts to your family! If Mom is breastfeeding, Dad can take a longer shift overnight knowing that Mom is going to get up more frequently. If one parent enjoys naps more than another, factor that into your shifts. For formula fed babies, you can switch off nights between parents.

Even just ONE protected 3–4 hour stretch can be the difference between a sleep deprived zombie and getting through the day alright!

What “better” sleep means really means right now:

The newborn phase is exhausting, wonderful, chaotic, beautiful, challenging, all of the above, and more. This stage feels long at 2 AM, but it’s short in the big picture.

The best thing you can do to ensure your baby’s sleep needs (and yours) are being met is support what’s biologically appropriate, keep your baby fed, create grounding day and nighttime routines, and protect your sleep where you can.

And I promise, a more solidified, predictable routine is coming.

About the Author

Ella Hanover is a baby and toddler sleep consultant serving NYC families. She helps parents create sustainable sleep routines that honor child development and support the emotional well-being of the entire family.